I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
