We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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