And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
