she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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