I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
