Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
