Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
