You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
my poor anus
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
