This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
