i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
