im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
