Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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