i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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