I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
