ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
