I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
