If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
