I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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