I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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