So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
