Do you still have your period?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
