Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
