I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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