Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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