I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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