I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
