She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I think I won the penis lottery.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
