Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
