Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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