this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
