I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
