My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
