If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
