Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
