doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
