This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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