another moral hangover. fuck.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I'm really busy with my period
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