i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
