how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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