i just wanna soil my oats bro
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
