is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm too high and old for this...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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