If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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