addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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