I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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