You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
