So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
