a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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