I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
