you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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