Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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