Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
