Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
