Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
